Habit - an action that gradually arose as a result of repetition, and is carried out on its own, without your will.
It takes time to get used to something. We all get used to something in our lives, and habits become part of our nature and begin to control us to a certain extent.
There are things that people get used to quickly, and there are things that take a long time to get used to, and it’s hard to get used to some things. In any case, people get used to something not immediately, but over a while.
The formation of habits of behaviour in children directly depends on the practice of parents, since many patterns begin to form in early childhood, primarily due to imitation. Habits arise in all spheres of human activity, cover various aspects and aspects of human behaviour. Distinguish between good and bad habits, as well as vital and socially valuable habits.
Any repeated action thought, or emotion is a habit. A habit is an unconscious search for a resource for a more fulfilling life. Repetitions will be until attention is focused on the genuine need behind this habit.
Imagine a bee that is beating against a window in an attempt to go free. Bee sees the goal and acts according to the program set for her, and despite the resistance, she cannot realize her intermediate need and choose a different strategy. Even if you open the window, she will think for a long time before taking this opportunity because she has not had such an experience.
So, we move towards goals, cannot notice our current needs, which leads to the emergence of different habits: distraction on social networks, seizing, drinking psychoactive drinks (coffee, tea), alcohol, smoking, stress, self-condemnation, anxiety, fears, etc. Please note that we often may not notice emotional habits that are a common reaction to certain things, and they can do as much harm as, for example, smoking or drinking.
How long does a habit form?
The evidence is contradictory. One study suggests that on average, a habit is formed in 66 days, while another showed that new visitors to the gym should attend classes at least four times a week for six weeks so that such a visit becomes a habit. In any case, this is definitely not 21 days, according to an urban myth proposed by plastic surgeon Dr Maxwell Maltz.
Recent studies provide a more full-spectrum - it takes 18 to 254 days, or 66 days on average, to consolidate habits in different people. In any case, it turns out that you should not count for less than three weeks.
As a tool to work with any habit, try this:
- Draw on a piece of paper:
+ Your condition, which occurs at the moment before the usual action, emotion or thought;
+ What happens after a habit is realized that gives you.
- Realize the reality. Does this strategy help meet real needs? Which action will be more effective? What will you do differently now when the usual reaction arises?
- The habit indicates the need for relaxation and slowdown, more conscious and subtle contact with yourself, the observation of your feelings, and reality around. Next time you will stop yourself, pay attention to your heels, and breathe slowly for at least a minute until the inner fussiness decreases.
4. Without self-pity. Push the limits of your possibilities. It is essential only during the acquisition of a new habit to do everything consciously. Just remember notice and stop until you see the changes.
5. One habit per week. Change yourself in a year. Learn to take breaks, do not hesitate to thank others, do not stay too long in your comfort zone; write down everything.
- Keep repeating behaviour. When forming a habit, make sure that the selected actions are clearly defined, and the situational factors that trigger them are common.
- Make sure that this is precisely the behaviour you need. As a rule, people take more extended actions that they freely choose from those they are forced to do under the pressure of others.
Start with a simple behaviour change.
- Have realistic expectations. Explain clearly what to expect when the behaviour becomes ‘familiar.’ Habit formation is best seen as setting an internal reminder to do something in the appropriate situation.
Let’s say, the opinion of scientists about the habit of drinking coffee in the morning changes regularly - it’s harmful, then nothing terrible. One way or another, everyone has patterns; it is impossible without them; otherwise, we will spend too much time and effort thinking about routine actions. And since living without habits is impossible, it is undoubtedly better to have only useful ones - and more.
There are no magic pills. Everything requires attention and work.
