What is friendship
Friendship is a close relationship between people based on affection, trust, shared interests, mutual respect, and help.
Next to friends, we learn to show attention and support, and we get it in return. Each person has different ideas about friendship. For some, friendly communication is limited by common interests, for example, friends go fishing together, and girlfriends go shopping. Usually, friends spend birthdays together, share news, and always keep in touch. Sometimes, when friends are far apart, they just call back or chat. Others believe that friendship is a concept around the clock, and if you called a friend in the middle of the night and did not help you, this is not a reliable friend at all.
And yet, there are general parameters by which you can judge whether your relationship is friendship.
Signs of friendship
- Mutual sympathy, desire to communicate
- Common interests
- Permanent meetings
- Support, attention to each other
- Openness, the willingness to share feelings and experiences
- Helpfulness
Buddies
Moreover, many of us have friends who are not in the full sense of the word. You can sometimes have fun with them, go to the cinema or in a cafe, but we are not sure that they will come to the aid in difficult times, and we will not share the secret with them. These are rather buddies.
Friendship, however, is based on sincerity. It's okay with a friend when having fun together, but you can also be sad and silent with him.
Friendship and relationships of people in childhood
From about three years old, the first friends appear in the child. These are children who are fun to play with, they can communicate.
The friendship between children is easily established and can be quickly interrupted if communication is not continued, for example, when a friend was transferred to another group of a kindergarten. There are many quarrels in children's friendships, but often the next day, little friends quickly forget about grievances and are again glad to see each other.
At this stage, the child must learn how to get to know each other, enter into dialogue and play, and understand what cannot be done concerning a friend.
When a child goes to school, he usually makes friends at school or in sections, circles. Often, most children in the class want to be friends with leaders, excellent students. Friendly flocks are formed. Friends can usually change.
By around the age of 10, a few real friends are made. The child begins to understand that it is crucial not to be friends with those with whom only fun, but with those who come to the rescue, will not betray with whom you can share secrets.
In adolescence, self-affirmation, self-identification comes to the fore. A friend is a person who understands you to whom you can open up. At this age, children seek recognition, and some unsure teenagers can even humiliate themselves, do something to please their friends, just to be "in the pack."
In high school, friendship, relationships with peers for many become more important than parents, because adults often do not understand their children. It becomes an essential spiritual closeness, the ability to listen and support.
Student friendship is solid when young people are far from home, live together in a hostel, experiencing the first difficulties, joys, and sorrows of adulthood.
That is where friendship for life is often laid.
Friendly communication between adults
After the age of 25, people make friends less, look more closely at people, evaluate whether it is worth making friends with someone. But even in adulthood, you sometimes meet a true friend, whom, as if, had known all his life.
For adults, shared values and interests, a worldview is essential, social status, personal qualities, and general environment affect relationships. Often friends are found at work, at training courses, on business trips. It is unlikely that you can find a friend on the street, as in childhood. Although there are options here if there are common interests and topics for conversation. For example, friendships often occur between mothers with children or dog lovers.
Adults filter the social circle, and often friends perform different functions. This person is right on vacation, but you can't have everyday things, because he is cheerful but irresponsible. Families communicate with others; they can leave their children, and so on.
The friendship between men and women
They say that female friendship does not exist, but, of course, this is not so. With a friend, you can talk heart to heart, ask for help. Kitchen conversations often replace a woman with a psychologist; however, girlfriends do not always give the right advice, and sometimes they can harm.
There is often an element of rivalry in female friendships: who looks younger and prettier, who has a better man, etc. And it happens that a friend will shoulder up when you feel bad, but cannot bear your success. Fortunately, there are exceptions.
What is friendship for men? That is mutual assistance and everyday interests, hobbies, respect for each other.
Representatives of the more vigorous sex are less likely to show emotions, and close friends may not discuss family problems, but help each other in case of problems.
The friendship between a man and a woman is also possible. Many do not believe in it, but it exists.
How to maintain a healthy friendship
Relations are always built on both sides, based on the balance of the "take-give" principle. If someone did you something excellent to you, answer with the same, and in abundance.
Relations in which one person gives and the second only takes are doomed. Moreover, any side can break off relations. The giver is sometimes bored with being the rescuer. The taker, even if he is not aware of it, feels guilty, which pushes him to end the relationship.
Think about what you expect from friendship: devotion, understanding, help? Are you ready to give it to your friend?
Friendly communication should be constantly nourished: meet more often, exchange information, come up with something new to make the interaction more intense. When you have no time to meet a friend, and there are always things to do, friendship fades away.
It is also essential to have respect for the friend, his boundaries. If he does not want to tell something or prefers to have a family vacation with you, this is his right.
Do not criticize your friends or give away unsolicited advice. A man himself knows better what to do; he only needs support from you.
If you manage to find and maintain strong friendships, you can be congratulated. After all, friendship is a value that cannot be bought; it can only be built.
